Comfort Zone

Someone said to me that later
after SPM she want to be like me.
The studying-oversea part I mean.

I don't regret my decision after choosing
"program luar negara" under JPA back then
but do YOU already think about this thing thoroughly?

I remembered the first time I got the offer letter
to study in a boarding school, my first reaction was
"Jauhnya umi. I don't want to study there".
Reality is, it's not that far from my house actually.
(45 minutes journey is considered quite okay right?)
However in the end, I went to that school and spent
5 years full of memorable experiences there.

So back to the main topic,
why do you want to study oversea?
Is it because it look cool?
Cause that is what I used to think before.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not against the idea of your dream to study oversea.
Just a friendly message from me,
be ready to step out of your comfort zone.

Why earlier i mentioned that i don't want to study
in a boarding school?
Because I'm afraid to get out of my comfort zone.
You know how comfortable it is to live in your own house.
Everything you need is there.
Delicious foods, your own comfort bed, freedom to do
things to your likely and so on.
You know how different it is to live in a hostel.
Everything is just the opposite!

The same thing happen when you go oversea.
You live in a totally different world.
No mom and dad, no nasi lemak for breakfast,
no holidays for Eid, etc.

First thing that surprised me was the people.
Since I'm only 155cm, I think everyone is
very tall and big.
Especially the guys.
At first, I used to be a little scared of people
around me because in my eyes they are all
so tall and scary.
My imagination is doing a very good extra work that time.

One of the unpleasant experience I ever dealt
with was being called a terrorist and being teased as
"Arabic woman" by a group of drunk guys.
I was very scared because I was is a train full of drunk people
(they were celebrating about winning a football game earlier I think)
and some of them even fight among themselves.
Drunk people fighting and screaming in a train is not
something I usually see in my life before I came here.
 In fact I never meet any drunk guy in Malaysia
because being drunk is not something you
can see commonly among Malaysian.
Well at least for me.

Weh berjela dah aku tulis ni.

Lastly, of course there are many good memories
and nice experiences while being here.
But I'm sure you the always-berangan-girls
out there know what it is.
The snow, travelling, yadayada.

My advice is if you want to study oversea,
make sure you are ready mentally
(very important) and physically.
Seriously, be ready to step out from your comfort zone.

#Jasmaitusen.

Weird

I'm intrigued,
Sometimes baffled,
This feeling is enormous,
Strange yet I can't get enough of it.
The flavour keep mixing,
Blending the logic,
Grinding the rational mind to pieces.
Is this love or hate?
You left me bemused.

The Stare

1. The I-don't-know-you stare

I have this kind of stare whenever I'm walking alone
or in the tram, observing other people's outfit and
what they do. Of course not in the creepy way la.
The first glance is still okay right. Haha.

2. The I-need-to-see-you stare

Usually a lot of kids have this kind of stare.
They just keep looking at you as if you are an  ET
that just become earthling. I think maybe due to the
different skin color tone and the hijab that made us
look really weird in their eyes.
They just gonna see you as they passing by, tilt their head
a little when they got further and then tell their mommy
about our "uniqueness". Luckily you guys are so cute that
I don't mind being watched by your innocent stare XD

3. The judging stare

I really hate this neither being the one giving out
this kind of gaze to other people.  Fullstop.

4. The I-don't-want-to-talk-to-you stare

The simplest of its kind.
You just have to stare at other place and avoid eye
contact with the person that you don't wanna speak to.
This is the moment when you need to stare and think about
the abstractness of the completely blank white wall.
A very useful one especially when you have someone
you don't like coming in your way. Haha.

5. The can-I-just-go-home stare

The one that students often have when they are stuck in the
long monotonous lecture in the gloomy raining day,
about how Einstein got his theory of relativity idea.
Boring day ever -.-


Just because I don't feel like studying yet.
Cardio block is awesome.
Especially the session with Dr. Marek

Adik baby

Reminiscing the moment when i had
a conversation with my little sister last month.

One day she went to my aunty's house
to see our newborn cousin.
So when she came back i asked her
a few question for the sake of teasing her
of course. Haha.

Me : Adik tadi g rumah mak cik buat apa?
F : Tengok adik baby.
Me : Adik baby nama apa?
F : Adik baby nama baby la. Kan dia kecik lagi.
Me : La kalau besar nanti nak panggil apa?
F : Dah besar kita panggil kakak la pulak. Kalau kecik kita panggil baby.


Simpleton abes Farha ni.
Sometimes its great to be young.
No need to bother the world or its problem yet.

Now I miss home.  

Random video

So my youngest sister was playing with my phone few weeks ago.
Today I discover one of the random video that
she loves to record everytime she had my phone.

That video consist of me and my maternal grandma
having our little chit-chat about my life in Czech Republic.
Randomly picked moment. Haha. 

Then I realized one thing about that video.
My normal voice was quite high pitched.
I'm used to the fact that i had a high pitched voice
but i thought it only emerge when i'm screaming
to something or someone and not during
normal conversations as it appears to be. 

It was very funny listening to my own voice in that video.
Sorry friends. Never thought that my 'unique' voice was that terribel. 

Yes 'unique' indeed :P 

Ain't no Aphrodite

Ain't no Aphrodite 

Only a mere girl, 

Sitting at the corner of the world, 

Intimidated by sound of men,

Though they never care of her presence. 

Sometimes she wish to have a pair of wings, 

But too afraid to fall like the Icarus, 

Fall beyond the depth she could bear, 

Faint against the spike of adrenaline. 

She ain't Aphrodite, 

The goddess of love and beauty,

The world won't bow on her,

Nor they envy her. 

Only a mere girl, 

and she ain't Aphrodite. 

I nailed it

Alhamdulillah I'd finished all my
third year exams yesterday.
*smile from north to south pole*

This is my first time finishing all the exams
right on time, meaning I don't have to come
early to repeat the failed paper nor that
I go back home late.
Going back in the first week of July is early
for me compared to previous years.

I'm going back home tomorrow insyallah.
*insert coming home song here*
Super duper excited to see everybody!!!
and to eat the local foods as well. 

I'm quite emotional when Dr. Raska
sign my credit book yesterday.
Despite the period pain that start from the morning
and his sudden action of postponing our exam hour,
I feel blessed.

Rasa macam Allah dah kabulkan semua
doa-doa orang yang duk doakan kejayaaan sesama kita
selama ni. *wipe tears*

For someone who have always been the last(?)
person to complete every exams from my first year,
the same thing happen in second year and this
year magic happen!
Well magic do happen when you give the best
effort and a lot of dua'.
You are not expecting the fairy godmother to come
and swing that magic wand of hers to make sure you
pass every exams do you?

My mom was waiting nervously for my call that day.
She was so relieved when I told her the good news
and to my surprise she even called my sister that night
to tell her that I completed my third year.
See how happy she was. I'm so touched.
Love you mom. Without your moral support and dua'
I know I won't be able to go through all of this.
Many thanks to all my friends as well for your
positive words and encouragement whenever I'm not
confident to pass the paper or when I feel like giving up
everything to become a fulltime housewife. Haha.
You know who you are.
You deserve massive thanks from me and a hug maybe?
Hehe.

Despite all the hectic and busy weeks I actually learn
something during this chaotic exam period that is
"one don't simply busybody-ing other people's problem"
I thought what I shown was empathy but then I end up
being scolded.
Silly me.

I'm sorry if any of my words hurt you guys.
I'm always imperfect and there will be flaws
in my daily action.
Sorry from the bottom of my heart.
*sudden melancholic tone*