Musim orang balik cuti.

Finally it happen now.
Musim orang balik melawat negeri
tanah tumpah darah masing-masing
but me still here mengadap subjek yang
tak habis-habis lagi ni.

But it's okay. My responsibility here is to study,
gain knowledge and also experience as much as i can.
*ayat pujuk hati bila rasa down*

Eventually after habis exam memang akan balik pun.
Just a matter of time.
Big girl don't cry okay. *lap-lap air mata*

Besides, kan dah beli tiket.
Everything should be fine la kan as long as
you study hard and finish the exam on time.
Umi cakap tak larinye rumah di kejar.
Take your time to study well Azira.
TT______TT

I pray that Allah will count every letter that i read
and every tear that i shed as something beneficial
for my life in this dunya and hereafter. T_T

My Wonderwall

So today i failed histo for the third time.
Tu maknnya esok kena repeat one of the
previous test in order nak dapat better result.

Dalam duk sedih-sedih tak pass ni tiba-tiba rasa
kelakar. Sempat la senyum sorang-sorang dua tiga saat
bila ingat balik...kihkihkih

As usual before and after exam mesti la ada yang text,
line, and viber me to wish good luck and same thing
happened after dah abes exam untuk tanya macam mana result.
The same cycle happen every time i had an exam.

The funny thing is, macam-macam reaction orang bagi
when i told them that i failed.
Some of them bagi nasihat dah macam geng mak-mak dah.
While others, cara comfort diorang lain-lain pulak.
If nak makan ice cream boleh ajak akid,
if nak hyper-hyper boleh cakap kat roomate,
if nak sweet sweet sket bole cakap dengan farah, ain, and so on.
(only to name a few)
Housemate pun jadi berkali-kali ganda sweet today.
Nasib tak tertumpah air mata when they came to comfort me just now.

Seriously i love you girls.
If one day insyaAllah dah jadi doctor i still want to work with you
all cause mana nak cari orang sweet-suka-support-kawan macam
ni in future. =.='

Thanks for showing me that i'm not alone here.
 *saya sayang support system saya*

Oh pelisss!

"Rasa inferior tahap gaban!
Orang lain dah setel habis semua exam tapi kau still duk menghadap subjek winter sem nyer subject."

Oh pelissssss!!! I hate this monologue. Everyday only the same thing occur in my mind.

I wish to have this kind of monologue instead of the above one but it took a lot of tears and scars. T_T

"It's okay. We don't have the same battle but eventually we all share the same goal. Be strong and have the courage to challenge the challenge. Do thing that you can control which is your effort and let Allah do the rest."

Well that sound better.

For you.

Specially dedicated to me myself...

Azira...
Why you so weak?
Tak pass exam sket tapi nangis bagai nak
banjir faculty. Luckily no people there >.<
Poor your umi and abah.
You are almost 21 years old yet being so manja.
Abah sampai suruh letak phone sebab nangis teruk sangat.
Told me to calm myself first and repeatedly said that
its okay that i failed this time, i can try again next time.

Oh abah..if only you know what i feel.
I'm so scared that the same thing happened last year
will happen again this year.
I dont want to break your heart and make
you and umi worry about me again.
Plus, I don't know if im strong enough to face it the second time.

Dear Azira...
You know its not the end of the world yet
so stop grieving over something that had happened.
Something you cannot change.
All you can do is to accept the fact that you fail today!

Just take a deep breath, empty all the negative thought
and start a new chapter.
There's a lot more challenging stuff waiting for you in future.
You can face this Azira.
You have been through a lot before.
This little failure, i'm sure you can face it.
Please be strong!
Nak balik ke tak?
Kalau nak balik, stop grieving and start studying!

Masalah?!

There's one moment in life when you want to stop,
have a break from this busy-hectic-miserable life
and forget everything.

But to think again, sampai bila nak run away every
time kena face problem kan.
Problem in life ni macam garam dalam kari.
If tak tambah garam mesti jadi tawar je kari tu.
Orang kata penambah perasa, emmmm..maybe
more to pelengkap rasa kari tu sendiri kot.

Even sebenarnya kita tau je effect garam tu kat badan
in case of excessive consumption, tapi kita still consume garam tu.
Sebab kalau tak tambah memang tak akan menjadi la kari kita tadi
*sembang resipi masakan pulak =.='*

What i'm trying to express is, be brave to face the problem girl!
He Won't test you with something you can't bear because
Dia adalah Yang Maha Mengetahui.
Bila kita yakin dengan sifat Allah yang satu ni,
kita tak akan risau dah macam mana nak face any problem in life.
Sebab kita tahu yang Allah Tahu setakat mana threshold kita
untuk face the problem.

i wish everything will go on easy for me,

but somehow i realize that

life without problems is a meaningless one.

note 1: risau takut tak lepas exam isnin ni sebenarnya T_T

note 2: to live under people's expectation is such a  burdensome.

Pre-exam Syndrom

Rasanya sepanjang duk sini nak dekat 2 tahun ni,
tiap kali nak exam mesti dapat sakit yang satu ni--> HEADACHE.
Dulu2 masa nak SPM xde pun develop penyakit ni.
Eh ada..tapi tak seteruk sekarang kot.

Bukak buku lama sikit mula la kepala berdenyut-denyut loya nak muntah. T_T
Bila kepala buat hal mula la cari alternatif lain untuk hilangkan sakit tu.
Antara yang selalu buat is tido or main game.
Bila dah start buat benda lagha2 ni, mula la study x abes..
then bila tinggal 2 3 hari nak exam mula la gelabah.
(Lagi gelabah dari nak jumpa bakal mertua tau #eh.)
Mana nak belek semua buku, tengok balik lecture notes,
hafal segala jenis neurons and pathway.
Sooooooo many to learn.

So my dear self..please be nice to me.
Jangan nak ngada2 sangat dekat  nak exam ni.
I need to study T_T

Cepat abes exam cepat la kamu boleh balik.
Sila bertahan.

Great May

Its 1st of May and believe me its gonna be a hectic month ever. T___T
Got  2 exam this month, few tests and credits to fulfill.
Tapi hari-hari buat macam orang tak sedar diri nak exam.
Tengok drama, fb, layan youtube..nice kan T___T
Paling best bila time2 mcm ni la semua benda yang melaghakan,
semua tu la yang nak di buat.
Now im having sudden desire to go to shopping.
Its summer guys. We need new clothes for this new season...errr rite?

Since its May, meaning i still have approximately 2 months
before summer holiday start...cakap sekarang sape yang tak suka cuti lama-lama!
*senyum sampai ke telinga*
I'm the most happiest person when it comes to holidays.
Summer holidays means no class.
No class means no test.
No test means no books.
No books means kau-boleh-berjimba-24/7-dengan-senang-hatinya.
(ehemsss jgn ikut perangai buruk ni..sepatutnya niat kita study is to get His Blessing..tu baru betul *dush!!!)

But the most important thing is, summer holiday means Malaysia!!!
Probably this year gonna be the last year boleh sambut raya puasa
kat rumah..next year belum tentu lagi macam mana.
Listening to the stories from the third year students already gives me goosebumps
on how "great" third year syllabus gonna treat you.
(we only can pray for the best je la kan)

So guys..happy-exam-dulu-baru-fikir-tiket-balik time!!

note 1 : i really love summer ^_^