List

These things had been circling in my mind for the past few months.
1. nasi kerabu (always on top of the list)
2. cheesy wedges
3. ayam percik
4. mee sizzling kbmall
5. ABC
6. pengat ubi
7. sambal belacan
8. gulai tempoyak
9. apam balik
10. masak lemak pucuk paku
11. somtam

Definitely there's many more in my head
but this is senarai balik-wajib-cari benda-benda ni semua.
Wajibalghunnah!

12th July

Bilang hari nak balik Malaysia lagi seronok
dari bilang hari nak amek exam.
Can't wait for 12th July to come.
Kbai.

Musim orang balik cuti.

Finally it happen now.
Musim orang balik melawat negeri
tanah tumpah darah masing-masing
but me still here mengadap subjek yang
tak habis-habis lagi ni.

But it's okay. My responsibility here is to study,
gain knowledge and also experience as much as i can.
*ayat pujuk hati bila rasa down*

Eventually after habis exam memang akan balik pun.
Just a matter of time.
Big girl don't cry okay. *lap-lap air mata*

Besides, kan dah beli tiket.
Everything should be fine la kan as long as
you study hard and finish the exam on time.
Umi cakap tak larinye rumah di kejar.
Take your time to study well Azira.
TT______TT

I pray that Allah will count every letter that i read
and every tear that i shed as something beneficial
for my life in this dunya and hereafter. T_T

My Wonderwall

So today i failed histo for the third time.
Tu maknnya esok kena repeat one of the
previous test in order nak dapat better result.

Dalam duk sedih-sedih tak pass ni tiba-tiba rasa
kelakar. Sempat la senyum sorang-sorang dua tiga saat
bila ingat balik...kihkihkih

As usual before and after exam mesti la ada yang text,
line, and viber me to wish good luck and same thing
happened after dah abes exam untuk tanya macam mana result.
The same cycle happen every time i had an exam.

The funny thing is, macam-macam reaction orang bagi
when i told them that i failed.
Some of them bagi nasihat dah macam geng mak-mak dah.
While others, cara comfort diorang lain-lain pulak.
If nak makan ice cream boleh ajak akid,
if nak hyper-hyper boleh cakap kat roomate,
if nak sweet sweet sket bole cakap dengan farah, ain, and so on.
(only to name a few)
Housemate pun jadi berkali-kali ganda sweet today.
Nasib tak tertumpah air mata when they came to comfort me just now.

Seriously i love you girls.
If one day insyaAllah dah jadi doctor i still want to work with you
all cause mana nak cari orang sweet-suka-support-kawan macam
ni in future. =.='

Thanks for showing me that i'm not alone here.
 *saya sayang support system saya*

Oh pelisss!

"Rasa inferior tahap gaban!
Orang lain dah setel habis semua exam tapi kau still duk menghadap subjek winter sem nyer subject."

Oh pelissssss!!! I hate this monologue. Everyday only the same thing occur in my mind.

I wish to have this kind of monologue instead of the above one but it took a lot of tears and scars. T_T

"It's okay. We don't have the same battle but eventually we all share the same goal. Be strong and have the courage to challenge the challenge. Do thing that you can control which is your effort and let Allah do the rest."

Well that sound better.

For you.

Specially dedicated to me myself...

Azira...
Why you so weak?
Tak pass exam sket tapi nangis bagai nak
banjir faculty. Luckily no people there >.<
Poor your umi and abah.
You are almost 21 years old yet being so manja.
Abah sampai suruh letak phone sebab nangis teruk sangat.
Told me to calm myself first and repeatedly said that
its okay that i failed this time, i can try again next time.

Oh abah..if only you know what i feel.
I'm so scared that the same thing happened last year
will happen again this year.
I dont want to break your heart and make
you and umi worry about me again.
Plus, I don't know if im strong enough to face it the second time.

Dear Azira...
You know its not the end of the world yet
so stop grieving over something that had happened.
Something you cannot change.
All you can do is to accept the fact that you fail today!

Just take a deep breath, empty all the negative thought
and start a new chapter.
There's a lot more challenging stuff waiting for you in future.
You can face this Azira.
You have been through a lot before.
This little failure, i'm sure you can face it.
Please be strong!
Nak balik ke tak?
Kalau nak balik, stop grieving and start studying!

Masalah?!

There's one moment in life when you want to stop,
have a break from this busy-hectic-miserable life
and forget everything.

But to think again, sampai bila nak run away every
time kena face problem kan.
Problem in life ni macam garam dalam kari.
If tak tambah garam mesti jadi tawar je kari tu.
Orang kata penambah perasa, emmmm..maybe
more to pelengkap rasa kari tu sendiri kot.

Even sebenarnya kita tau je effect garam tu kat badan
in case of excessive consumption, tapi kita still consume garam tu.
Sebab kalau tak tambah memang tak akan menjadi la kari kita tadi
*sembang resipi masakan pulak =.='*

What i'm trying to express is, be brave to face the problem girl!
He Won't test you with something you can't bear because
Dia adalah Yang Maha Mengetahui.
Bila kita yakin dengan sifat Allah yang satu ni,
kita tak akan risau dah macam mana nak face any problem in life.
Sebab kita tahu yang Allah Tahu setakat mana threshold kita
untuk face the problem.

i wish everything will go on easy for me,

but somehow i realize that

life without problems is a meaningless one.

note 1: risau takut tak lepas exam isnin ni sebenarnya T_T

note 2: to live under people's expectation is such a  burdensome.