I Cry.

I used to cry a lot.
Its kind of a therapy for me.
Whenever I find something
stressful or sad, I cry.
Especially when I'm in this foreign
land so called Czech Republic.
Yes I do have plenty of
friends but nothing can beat
feeling bila dah puas nangis tu.

Today I cried again.
I think this is the second most teruk
part of nangis kat sini.
My umi was admitted to the hospital
this morning.
She complained about her abdominal pain
but the doctors are still not sure about the
diagnosis yet.
She was transferred from Hosp. Jeli
to Hosp. Tanah Merah this afternoon
to meet the specialist.

I was in the lecture hall when
my sister text me regarding my umi.
I was very shocked yet I can do nothing.
I wrote everything which was on the slide
with zero understanding.
I  felt blanked during the whole class.
Its was so hard to maintain your composure during
that kind of situation. *insert tears*

My umi is the kind of person that tried her best
not to put her children under nonsense fear.
When I'm in form 3 she got into an accident
and broke her arm.
The doctors bandaged her arm and told her to
rest. But that week when she came to visit me in the
hostel, her bandage was gone.
She casually told me that she got into an accident
and her arm hurts. That's all.
When I went back home for pulang bermalam
that month then only I knew that she can't even
move her hand properly yet.
She didn't wanna let me see her bandaged arm
because it might make me worry.

So do you understand now why I cried a lot
upon hearing this news?

I want the pahala of taking care of my sick parent as well. *insert tears again*