I define love.

Today something have been bothering my mind for the whole day.
Family matters. I'm a bit sensitive when anything regarding family
issue occur. Maybe because I'm very far from them so if anything
happen I'm gonna be super duper anxious.

I'm not gonna put into details on what actually happen because
I think it is not appropriate to tell it here but my conclusion is
find yourself a right spouse.

First kawan. Then bercinta and after that kahwin. I hate it the most
when people have such simplistic thought in their mind.
You married someone because he said that he loves you.
Love for human gonna fade away. True love exist when you
love the one that doesn't extinct. That is how I define love.

I mean its logic right. Example if you like the limited edition
milka choc and only buy that kind of brand, then you tend to
forget all other brand which have the same taste as well.
(the one that make the 'pop' sound every time you eat them..i love it!)
You can have that one in short-limited time because every store only gonna sell it until the promotion end.
(sorry for the bad example. I couldn't think of other contoh yg tepat to describe it)

The same thing can be applied to love. If you love someone who didn't even last long, how would you expect to have a long lasting love.

I said : love Allah first then find someone who loves Him
as much as you do.There you can have the "titik persamaan".
The knot that will always remind you that your love for your spouse will be in the same "wavelength"
as long as both of you love The Al-Mighty.
When you have His love, masalah curang or cheating to your partner won't even occur. You get what i mean?

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah r.a., ia berkata: Rasulullah bersabda:

“Wanita dinikahi karena empat perkara; karena hartanya, karena kedudukannya/keturunannya, karena kecantikannya dan keranan agamanya. Maka, pilihlah yang baik agamanya niscaya engkau beruntung.” (Diriwayatkan oleh al-Bukhari (3/242), Muslim (2/1086), Abu Dawud (2047), an—Nasaa’i (6/68) dan Ibnu Majah (1858))

Everything begin within yourself. Start seeking Allah's love first Azira.

Love of my life.

I always have the thought that my father is the
luckiest man on earth to have my umi as his wife.
i doubt myself whether i can be as good as her
when i'm married.

First, alhamdulillah dalam 6 beradik ni, 4 orang yang
dah khatam al-quran semua khatam masa mengaji dengan umi.
she teached us alif ba ta sampai ke ya.
tu belum masuk bab mengeja and nak mengenal satu-satu ayat.
how cool is that to have the chance to teach your children
reading the greatest book from Him by yourself. *mata berkaca-kaca*

Besides, she's a really good daughter-in-law. Others are great too.
But since we are now talking about my mother so
allow me to be a little bias here. hehe.
She's good sebab jarang dengar dia merungut pasal mertua
or ipar-duai ke apa.
Among the aunties, i think her anyaman ketupat
is the best and easy to learn.
(padahal sampai sekarang tak pandai2 jugak menganyam ketupat tu)
Dia pandai ambil hati my nenek. How?
I think my umi ni sangat cekap di dapur and sangat-sangat
respect orang tua kot. Pandai cari topik nak sembang dengan
saudara-mara and so on. Tapi rasanya all moms pun macam ni kot.
Haha.

Dia sangat la penyabar. I don't know how she survive
melayan kerenah kitorang enam beradik ni yang kalau dilayan
sampai ke sudah tak habis. Belum masuk nak layan my abah lagi.
Semput tau jadi mak orang ni. Dari kecik dia la yang mengandung,
9 bulan bawak anak dalam her womb. Nasib baik she's not
the kind yang ada alahan teruk2 macam orang lain.
Dah sakit-sakit bersalin kena sabar jaga baby kecik pulak.

Cuba kalau bulan puasa pulak, dia la yang ktungktang2
kat dapur sorang-sorang pukul 4 pagi nak sediakan sahur for
the whole family. Penat woi. Sampai satu tahap i thought
macam mana la my umi boleh go through all this
without whining even a single word.

Ok point membebel panjang2 ni sebenarnya nak cakap
that i love you umi. Thank you for everything you have done for me.
RINDUUUUUUUU...

Rant #8

berkurun tinggal blog sebab (konon) third year ni busy.
sometimes memang betul busy pong. eheh.
i have a list of to-do menu in my mind but apparently
whether malas or takde masa are the biggest reason why
tak terbuat-buat lagi benda tu.

punya la ngidam nasi kerabu tapi sampai sekarang tak
dapat nak fulfill hajat yang satu tu. kalau rajin nak buat solok siap.
pastu ada ayam percik ke skali.
gigih salivary gland kena keje tiap kali pikir menu ni.

janji nak buat nasi dagang pun jadi janji tinggal janji je.
nasi dagang sodap oi. tapi sini mana ada ikan tongkol.
laut pun xde apatah lagi nak makan makan ikan segar.
but maybe boleh ganti dgn kari ayam je kot.
(saying the fact, not that im not grateful)

memandangkan beras pulut hari tu pun ada lagi,
i've been thinking about making pulut panggang.
tapi mana nak dapat daun pisang kat sini kan.
or maybe boleh buat wajik lagi skali memandangkan
hari tu x puas makan.

boleh nampak tak banyaknye halangan nak buat all those menu
yang ada kat dalam kepala ni. haha
lagi satu berangan memang best.
esok ada test woi tapi still nak buat rilek lagi time ni.
kbai.

note 1: tengah pikir nak amek paper apa dulu utk exam winter ni. wish me luck.

Rant #7

He said that we can choose what we feel and think everyday.
Don't let any thought that will make us feel sad conquer our mind.

But the problem is everything is easier said than done.
Study is hard enough for me right now.
Not to mention other stuff that has been bothering
my mind these few days.

I'm tired of faking my smile.
I don't like the feeling of kena buat2 happy when
i'm not happy at all pun sebenarnya.
Doing that for the sake of people around me.
Not fair for them to see my sawi-jeruk-face
every time they see me kan? eh?
So I think its better for me to avoid myself being in a place
crowded with lots of people for a while.

Why am i sad?
Cause I failed plus some issues at home.

That some other issues tu yang make my mood worse.
Feel like i'm the most useless daughter in the world.
That inferior feeling keep growing massively.

I should fight this feeling.
I need to fight.
In fact, I must fight.
TT_______TT


He that i mentioned above is someone i know
during my secondary school.
A great motivator.

Soyok

Koyak rabak untuk kesekian kalinya.
Just don't give up yet azira.
Don't.

Maybe awal 2 ni jalan dia berliku-liku sikit sebab esok2 nak dapat highway.
Who knows la kan. kan? T___T

Rant #6

Sedih bila strangers or friends treat you better than your own family.
You have the gut to say something awful to my family at my back.
I don't know where shall i put my respect towards you after this.
Bullying my sister just because she had little experience about
adult world. Seriously?

This kind of conflict always make me think zillion times about marriage.
Find the right man is one thing, the family pun one thing that you need to consider very thoroughly before getting married.
Sometimes i think living with my family is enough.
I don't disturb others so others won't disturb us.
But that kind of thought is too ideal and i don't think an ideal community does even exist.

Be strong and brace yourself.
We are not living alone.
Hadap je la kalau orang nak buat dajal kat kita.
Those kind of rintangan la yang taught us on how to judge people
and decide the best decision in future.

Dumb.

Had the feeling like i'm the dumbest person in the world.
Like the worst!
Been doing something stupid and now i'm angry of myself
why am i doing it in the first place all this while.
Loser me.
*punch myself hard*