Rant #7

He said that we can choose what we feel and think everyday.
Don't let any thought that will make us feel sad conquer our mind.

But the problem is everything is easier said than done.
Study is hard enough for me right now.
Not to mention other stuff that has been bothering
my mind these few days.

I'm tired of faking my smile.
I don't like the feeling of kena buat2 happy when
i'm not happy at all pun sebenarnya.
Doing that for the sake of people around me.
Not fair for them to see my sawi-jeruk-face
every time they see me kan? eh?
So I think its better for me to avoid myself being in a place
crowded with lots of people for a while.

Why am i sad?
Cause I failed plus some issues at home.

That some other issues tu yang make my mood worse.
Feel like i'm the most useless daughter in the world.
That inferior feeling keep growing massively.

I should fight this feeling.
I need to fight.
In fact, I must fight.
TT_______TT


He that i mentioned above is someone i know
during my secondary school.
A great motivator.

Soyok

Koyak rabak untuk kesekian kalinya.
Just don't give up yet azira.
Don't.

Maybe awal 2 ni jalan dia berliku-liku sikit sebab esok2 nak dapat highway.
Who knows la kan. kan? T___T

Rant #6

Sedih bila strangers or friends treat you better than your own family.
You have the gut to say something awful to my family at my back.
I don't know where shall i put my respect towards you after this.
Bullying my sister just because she had little experience about
adult world. Seriously?

This kind of conflict always make me think zillion times about marriage.
Find the right man is one thing, the family pun one thing that you need to consider very thoroughly before getting married.
Sometimes i think living with my family is enough.
I don't disturb others so others won't disturb us.
But that kind of thought is too ideal and i don't think an ideal community does even exist.

Be strong and brace yourself.
We are not living alone.
Hadap je la kalau orang nak buat dajal kat kita.
Those kind of rintangan la yang taught us on how to judge people
and decide the best decision in future.

Dumb.

Had the feeling like i'm the dumbest person in the world.
Like the worst!
Been doing something stupid and now i'm angry of myself
why am i doing it in the first place all this while.
Loser me.
*punch myself hard*

Rant #5

Fall for this stupid love song over again...tapi lagu je la. =P

Sabar.

I'd been here for quite some time now. Since 27/8 to be more accurate. A lot of things happened, some are good and some are bad. Failed exam, have to email and meet the lectures to get the summer's credits, fon buat hal, meet the juniors and problem with the internet.

Banyak2 hal, part internet tu yang bother me so much! Generasi Y mana boleh hidup tanpa internet..tahu?!! Nevertheless, bila dah kena macam2 ni kena selalu tarik nafas panjang2 and keep saying to myself that everything gonna be alright soon. Just keep calm and be more patient.

Mungkin Dia rindu nak dengar kita merintih minta tolong kat Dia to ease everything for us. Sabar banyak2 azira!

Kind of regret it now.

There are a few things that i regret for not be able to do it back then.

1. Read more books. Last summer holidays i do read books but most of them are fiction type of books. I wish I spend more time reading so called "ilmiah" book. Instead of duk khatam aisya sofea, noor suraya and hlovate bebanyak kali tu, i wish i do at least finish reading solusi or gen-Q that i bought last time =.=

2. Regret that I forgot to take picture with my parents. Believe it or not i don't even snap a single picture with them during last holidays. Regret it to the max T_T

3. Abah's health was not so good a few days after Eid. Regret sebab tak tengok or tanya abah betul-betul dia sakit macam mana. Sampai sekarang he keeps holding on to that pain. I wish I show more care towards him. He was so degil sebab tak nak langsung pegi check hospital. Abah you made me worry everyday because the distance between us is no joke abah. Super jauh kalau nak balik selalu pun T_T

4. Spend more quality times with my family. I wish my holidays were longer so we can spend more time to makan ramai2 for jumaat's lunch, help my umi masak and etc.

Tapi semua ni mampu duk "i wish" je la. Benda dah lepas. Should plan my future well so i can write less on my things-that-I-regret list in future.

Note 1 : tetibe teringat ost successful story of a bright girl.